I'm a Bitch and my daughter is a Snob...

I'm a hardass. Parent that is. I am tough (especially on the older two) and believe in certain rules and regulations in terms of conduct, dress and respect (which is really part of conduct.) As you all know I'm a yeller as well. I want the best from my children and expect the best from them. I want them to be respectful of their peers, elders and community. It's not an option. My children are supposed to make their beds daily. Clear the table. Set the table (unless they are busy doing homework) and put their laundry away. Every so often we ask them for help in other areas. They can whine and gripe all they want, but it's their duty as members of this family to help us out. Yes we have certain rooms the children cannot enter. The dining room and living rooms are out of bounds unless we allow them in. They rule the rest of the house, unfortunately. Their toys are permitted in the play room, their bedrooms and an armoire in the family room. They still manage to sneak into bathrooms, kitchens, hallways... I am forever cleaning and picking up after them. It gets old and tiring. I've a new house keeper scheduled to start next week. But this is not the answer to my problems. She will do the deep cleaning that I simply have no time for. I will continue on with the mundane daily stuff. I have to clean the bathrooms daily. I have 2 boys. 'Nough said. I have to vacuum the downstairs of a large house daily. Even though shoes must be removed and left in the mudroom stuff gets tracked in. Especially this time of year. It cannot be helped. I understand this. Crumbs are constantly dropped and left under the kitchen table. This can be helped, but it continues to happen. I harp on them about their table manners. I do mean harp. I see their friends and know that they are (slightly) better and that truly appalls and frightens me. It's not always fun and games at my dinner table. But my children are a reflection of me. Pleases and thank yous no longer suffice for my older two (according to me.) Just to give you a bit of insight into my way of thinking...

Today the kids had a half day of school. Christopher went off to a friend's house and Rebecca had a friend here. Both play dates were unexpected and very welcome. Since I hadn't had a chance to tidy up I did so while the girls were upstairs. This included emptying the sink, dishwasher, tossing a load into the wash, a load into the dryer and my daily vacuum.

I made the girls some lunch and hopped on to my laptop in the family room. A short while later Alexander wanted lunch and the girls wanted a snack. I made Alexander a sandwich and let the girls snack on some of the peanut butter cup cookies (on my food blog) I had baked a couple of days earlier. A little while later the girls were upstairs and I went into the kitchen to put Alexander on the children's laptop. That's when I noticed the crumbs. Not just one or two but a whole mess of them. I was irate. I nearly blew a gasket. No reason my floor should look like that an hour after vacuuming. So I yelled at Rebecca. In front of her friend. I didn't care. I don't care. I told her to get the vacuum and clean up her mess. I did. In front of her friend. I told her she was a young girl and not an animal. And she could have gotten herself and Grace a plate. A napkin at the very least.

I could hear her think "Oh my God. What a bitch!" And you know what? I don't care. I demand respect and care from my children.

So then her friend left and I told her that I found the cutest outfit for the holidays. It was quite by accident. She has requested a Lilly dress for Thanksgiving. I promised and she will get one. But I haven't found one that would be suitable (warm enough) for our New England weather. All I have seen so far is resortwear. I digress... So I found this adorable skirt and sweater. Tres chic. A real party skirt. But as I said it was not a place where I normally buy my children's clothes. I am just not that fond of their styles. But both boys needed navy socks for school. And who can beat 6 pairs for $10! And then I passed by the skirt and the sweater. And I almost didn't pick them up. But they were so lovely and the skirt is so incredibly well made.

Below is the sweater. Simple with light embellishments at the top.

This is the skirt that I think is to die for! Who can resist a dotted swiss and a beautiful wide sash?

and this is why she didn't like it!

She asked if I would cut out the label! She asked if I would sew another one into its place!!
Oh. My. God. Where have I gone wrong???


And speaking of Bitches and Snobs... It seems as though there is a confusion as to what it means to be "Preppy." Some of my favorite blogs/bloggers have received some rather nasty comments. For no reason whatsoever.

I got an email from my friend Beth (Dunn) yesterday. She was terribly upset after a comment was left on her blog. I headed over, read it, and left a (hopefully diplomatic) reply. I thought the comment was nasty and unwarranted. Beth has her blog for fun. She does not take it or herself too seriously and allows us to laugh with and at her, and ourselves. One reader (troll) took everything a bit too literally and spewed some nastiness. I mean if I don't like a blog I don't visit it. Simple enough.

Another one of Beth's reader commented that she was not sure what Preppy was. I left her a comment in hopes that I could best explain. I am going to post the same comment here but first I want to preface my comment by saying these girls in the preppy blog world have been so warm, welcoming and embracing. They were there for me when I needed morale and support. I also want to say that I have many, many different types of friends. I love them all for who they are and what they are and for as different as they are.

Now here was my reply:

Dear Confused,

Preppy is a way of thinking and being... it is a lifestyle and a way of dress...

It is not a "cult" or "group" or "clique" nor is it exclusionary. It's just a way.

I actually consider myself to be more of a Classic girl (New England prep falls into that category) and there are different types of preps around the country. West Coast varies from the Southern which varies from the New England.

As different as they (we) all are, we embrace everyone. We just love to live a good life and have fun. I happen to love Lacoste and wear Lilly in the summertime. In New England Wintertime it's jeans, corduroys and lots and lots of sweaters!

Preppy is an attitude of pride and self confidence. Preppy is an upbringing, to some extent.

I believe one can be preppy even though one's parents aren't. You also do not need to be a WASP to be preppy. My parents are Jewish and though they would never dare admit it, they are preppy to a fault.

I have a friend who is preppy with a Capital P but doesn't have an enormous bank account by any means, hell, neither do I!!!!

Preppy does have to do with traditions and manners and proper upbringing but not in a snobby manner. I have (and have had) many sublimely rich friends who are anything but preppy! Preppies, for the most part, are not terribly showy. Though preppies do love to shop.

Here, from Wikipedia... pretty much sums it up!

Preppy, also spelled preppie, is a shortened version of the word preparatory. It is a chiefly North American adjective or noun traditionally used in relation to northeastern private university-preparatory schools, as well as those who attend Ivy League or other prestigious colonial era colleges and universities. The term is used to denote a person seen as characteristic of an attendee of these schools.[1] Characteristics of preppies include a particular subcultural speech, vocabulary, accent, dress, mannerisms, and etiquette.

The word is particularly well-known amongst American teenagers, as it is quite often used to refer to a particular subculture present within most populous American high schools: the traditionally "popular kids", generally consisting of the children of middle to upper class families, typically characterized (especially by Hollywood in films such as "Never Been Kissed", "She's All That", etc.) as a shallow, transparent group, who are primarily concerned with extrinsic things, the three most obvious of which are probably popularity (generally within their own high school), physical appearance and material possessions. Although, when used in this sense, the word is considered slightly more "slang-ish".

Please, only kind words if you care to comment!