a peace of my mind

You don't need to agree with me. I need to vent.

I've been laying low. I did not want to paste yet another picture of a plane flying in to a building. Or a building catching on fire and collapsing. As a child of the city I knew little about the WTC growing up. I did not know much about what went on in and around those buildings. I did know that those two towers were as monumental to my skyline as the Chrysler and Empire State Buildings and the many bridges that connected the island of Manhattan to the surrounding boroughs and New Jersey. Flying in to the city to see that all familiar skyline was reassuring. I was home. Driving over the Tri-Borough bridge at night to see the millions of lights glimmering in the horizon like the stars up in the Heavens (or heck, like diamonds at Tiffany's) has always produced an immediate calm for me. I am proof that you can take the girl out of the city. But you can never take the city out of the girl.

I grew up an only child to two very goal oriented and successful parents. I was exposed to more arts and culture at a young age than most people have been exposed to in their life time. I was very comfortable in my grown up world and feel very fortunate to have had the childhood I did. I traveled a great deal and learned two languages. French and Spanish. I spoke French fluently from my early years. Later on I spoke Spanish proficiently. The world was my oyster -- I had it in the palm of my hand.

Now as I have my own children I want for them much of what I had as a child. I want to educate them to be open minded and tolerant of everyone. I want them to give back to the community and, in essence, to do unto others as they would have done unto them. I want them to respect everyone. All creeds, races and religions. I am pretty certain that they do.

We lost our innocence 7 years ago. Something terrible and tragic happened. We were attacked for being open minded and free. For freedom of thought and speech. We were attacked in a most brutal and terrible way. What's worse, Innocent people were attacked. People doing nothing but carrying on with their daily lives that beautiful September morning. The skies were blue. Bluer than I had seen in a long time. It was a crisp and quintessential September morn. And then it wasn't. And in my backyard my skyline came tumbling down. And so had hopes and dreams and lives... enough about that. No need to rehash those terrible moments.

Now we are approaching a great moment in history. A new President will take office. We will travel in a new direction. Change at this point is good. Change is absolutely necessary.

I am not a terribly political person by nature. I do not really talk about politics. I'm not comfortable doing so unless with close friends. It makes me uncomfortable. Uneasy. More Republican than Democrat I do share ideals with both parties. Until a couple of weeks ago I was not entirely sure who I was going to vote for, though was leaning more toward the Republican Party. Then Obama picked his running mate. A wise and respectable choice. I waited to see who McCain would pick. He had a long list of candidates. Then a little known Alaskan Governor was elected. Not a big powerhouse I thought perhaps she would be a fresh air in DC. And then all these stories started to emerge. And then I started to do a little research.

And truth be told I am heart sick. Devastated over his choice of a running mate. It has nothing to do with her being a woman. It has nothing to do with not being able to mother her children. (Besides, what's the difference, really, between a father as President and a mother? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.)

Why I am so completely sickened and worried for the sake of my country is because this woman is living in another era. Her narrow-minded thoughts are bringing us back in time and destroying all that we have worked for and strived for to make this nation what it is. To me these "litte" issues are just as important as our relations with other countries, just as important as our being a powerhouse in the free world, and just as important as putting an end to the war in Iraq, restoring peace and bringing our troops home.

I am worried about those things that fundamentally make us who we are. I do not want someone who would even so much as query about removing a book from a small town library. If you don't want your own children to read a book then you take care of it. But don't prevent me from doing so. I will parent my children as I see fit. I read one of the books Ms. Palin supposedly wanted removed. It was Go Ask Alice. I never turned in to a drug user. That particular book never made me want to go out and "experiment." Instead it had the opposite effect. I loved that book and it lingered with me for many years in my youth. I am a writer and a reader. Freedom of Speech is our First Amendment. By "removing" books you are single-handedly violating our right to free speech. By violating our right to free speech you are doing what those Plane-Flying-Fucking-Cowards did. You are killing the American people and her spirit.

Homosexuality is not a fucking disease. Tuberculosis is. Leprosy is. Your church can not "cure" a homosexual. I have issues with that. Huge issues. Praying to your God is not going to make a man want to marry a woman if he is not biologically programmed to do so.

Abstinence is not the answer either. Look at your children. Teach them properly. Give them the tools they need so that they don't get knocked up at 17. Don't take away their childhood and livelihood. A trip to planned parenthood can save a bright future. Don't add yet another person to that ever-growing poverty statistic. Put your daughters on birth control and let them get a good college education and become working, contributing members to society.

My biggest issue at hand is that someone who is going to run a country needs some foreign policy experience. How can a woman who obtained her first passport in 2007 possibly have enough experience to deal with complicated and delicate world affairs. My God, she's never even met a dignitary.

I know Ms. Palin is not running for President. But the possibility of her becoming one is there. I can not have such a closed-minded person with such little experience and no worldliness whatsoever run my country. I can not.

When I vote now I vote not so much for myself but my children and their future. I want my children to grow up and make their own choices. Be they wright or wrong they will always be encouraged to make their own choices. I encourage them (with a little guidance, of course) to do so now. They will make mistakes and learn from their mistakes. Nothing is so important a lesson in one's life as the mistakes one makes and the lessons learned along the way.

If my daughter wants to read Go Ask Alice when she is in high school then she should. If she wants to write her own controversial book when she gets older, she should. If she accidentally gets pregnant while at Harvard Med School while comingthisclose to finding the Cure for Cancer what she wants to do with her fetus is HER choice. Not mine. Not the government's.

If he lives that long... I can not imagine the fate of this country in incapable hands. How many more 9-11s will we have if this country is in incapable hands? It really, really terrifies me.

My vote was thisclose to being John McCain's. But given his track record with melanoma, knowing that nothing is permanent and that he could potentially pass away while in office, I can not give this man my vote.

I am not looking at Parties here. I am thinking as an individual. I am thinking as a mother. As Americans we have to look across the Party lines and see the truth as clear as she is in front of our eyes.