Notes to our teenage daughters :: Let me tell you about Kintsukuroi & fractured beauty

 Kintsukuroi, Image via Kintsukuroi Gifts 

Kintsukuroi, Image via Kintsukuroi Gifts 

The Japanese art of Kintsukuroi repairs broken pottery with seams of gold. it is in these repairs that the brokenness makes the object even more beautiful than it was before. The art of  Kintsukuroi is a long and difficult process, but the results are treasured by those around it. Uplifting and hopeful, this artform is an inspiring metaphor for dealing with the times we feel broken in life. It is a reminder that we become more beautiful from having been broken. 

As mothers we want nothing more than to give our children the best in life - I do not mean this from a financial standpoint, but from one that is nurturing, protective and educational. We want to protect our children from harm and we want to guide them so that they can make the best decisions possible and be good and kind, compassionate and caring citizens. We want them to do well in this world and soar. 

A few years ago my daughter was the subject of some pretty intense bullying. Our family was also going through a divorce. She was also entering teen-hood which is turbulent enough on the calmest of days. Her tranquil world was starting to unravel and for the first time in my parenting career, kisses weren't enough to make the bad go away and make everything better. 

As our family was breaking apart my daughter was too and as hard as I tried, it seemed at the time, there was nothing I could do to help, to comfort, to nurture. 

I believe that every failure, disappointment and heartbreak has a purpose. First we acknowledge and respect the pain, then we use these as lessons to learn and grow from. I want my daughter to know that every disappointment that comes our way is actually a good thing. I am trying to teach her how to turn the negatives into positives.  After the rain falls, the sun will indeed shine.

As a mother to two sons and a daughter who are all incredibly different I have to say that I think boys are easier than girls. They're higher energy but they're straightforward. We are tougher and more complicated - We are strong and soft and and sensitive and those traits often collide. At a time when their self images are at their lowest it is up to us, as mothers, to ensure that our girls know how to handle disappointment with strength, courage and aplomb. It is up to us, as mothers, to gently guide our daughters, to send them off into the world with unyielding confidence and self assurance. In so doing we need to show them that no one is perfect. We also need to show them that there is perfection in imperfection. 

This is why I love Kintsukuroi, and the philosophy behind it. It's a perfect message for our daughters - for all of our children. 

Look at the image below. Though broken, the gold that was used to repair it makes the piece truly spectacular. Without the gold the bowl would simply be average. If you have daughters that are struggling, at home, at school, with friends, with self image... with anything at all - share this message with them. xo

 Image via  Kintsugi Gifts

Image via Kintsugi Gifts