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fleeting...

Fleeting...

Fleeting...

It's about time. This blog post - it's about time. 

I haven't written or posted anything in a week which is highly unusual for me. I've been busy and distracted and every time I've tried to sit down to write I became enveloped by this giant fog. There were words I wanted to write, things I wanted to say and yet, for one reason or another they seemed not to be able to flow. They were, instead, locked inside of me. But that changed.

This morning, in a matter of seconds, by the ding of my smartphone, that all changed. It was the arrival of a new email in an already overcrowded in-box. It was an email that stood out from the crowd. I received sad news from the principal of my son's elementary school gently telling us that a parent of a second grader had passed away over the weekend.

This is about time. And how precious and fleeting it is.

I didn't know the child or his father, though I knew of the family. I thought of the wife, and I thought of the child, a mere second grader. And I thought of the siblings. How sad. How painful. How so very unfair.

Life is short they say. Life is short indeed. We seem to get reminded of this more and more as we get older. Life is fleeting. Enjoy it dearly. Live it to the fullest. And I do. And I seize every opportunity and chance that comes my way... I soak in every new experience, delight in the company of every new person I happen to meet. There's so much out there to be seen, heard, sampled, felt... done. I want to do it all, see it all, taste it all, hear it all, feel it all... I want to do it all!

This is the new me. This is the post divorce me. The me who has come out of her shell. The me who believes in taking chances at any cost, no matter how scary they may be. The me who has learned that, as trite as it sounds, you never know unless you try... The me who is learning to ask because more often than not, the answer is a resounding yes. The me who is re-learning to spread her wings. The me who is becoming more and more aware that time is finite.

That email stopped me dead in my tracks this morning. A child so young should never have to lose a parent. And parents should never have to lose a child. And yet it happens. Life is precious. Sometimes we need reminders. Sometimes the media does that for us. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves.

Over the years I've lost quite a few near and dear to me. Many lived long, illustrious lives and others were taken much too soon, some with warning, others with none whatsoever.  

I used to say "Take your time" or "We have all the time in the world." But that's not necessarily so, is it? I used to ask "Why rush into things?" I'm now asking myself, for the first time, "Why not?" Really. I am. My time could be up soon...

I've never been religious though I think I've always had a deeply philosophical and spiritual side. Inasmuch as our actions shape our lives, past, present and future, I believe that so much comes down to fate. How else do we explain so many unanswered questions? How else do we try to make sense of something that's so illogical? How else do we explain coincidence, or simply being at the right place at the right time? Without meaning to get overly sentimental or spiritual, I think there is some sort of grand plan... there must be. I can't have any way of knowing what's off in my own horizon, but I do know that while hard work and dedication are important, it's equally important to lift those oars and let the river guide you. And while you're floating down that river, be sure to take it all in... the sights, the sounds, the feeling in the air, because that's living.

I ask you all, no... I urge you all to take some time for yourselves. Step away from the rat race and your computers... Take a moment to be in the moment. To live in the moment. To be grateful. To be thankful. But most importantly, while you can, reach out to those who mean the world to you - whether near or far - and let them know so... because it's all so fleeting. 

Let’s really look at one another!...It goes so fast. We don’t have time to look at one another. I didn’t realize. So all that was going on and we never noticed... Wait! One more look. Good-bye , Good-bye world. Good-bye, Grover’s Corners....Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks ticking....and Mama’s sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new ironed dresses and hot baths....and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth,you are too wonderful for anybody to realize you. Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it—every,every minute?
— Thornton Wilder, Our Town

*Image via Calm Down Now



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