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Introspection :: Time We Have Wasted on the Way

Introspection :: Time We Have Wasted on the Way

I go through these deeply introspective, philosophical phases quite often. It isn't so much that I ponder the meaning of life, but that I want to give my life meaning and live it to the fullest that I am able. As I approach 50 I am keenly aware of all that I have and have yet to accomplish. While I have done a lot, there's a part of me who feels as though I've not accomplished enough and want to do so much more. I don't think of myself as successful (by my own standards) and want to. It is no question to me that I'm a late bloomer. I have been for most of my life. It stems from fear and self doubt. Uncertainty is murderous. Uncertainty is lethal. I must learn, even at this late age, to push uncertainty and doubt from my mind. I am confident that I can do this. Eventually. 

As I enter my "mid life" (Gosh, I hate that term) years I am more brazen. I am bolder. I am stronger. I am definitely wiser. I strive to learn every day. I am thirsty for knowledge as I have never been before. I am thirsty for success as I have never been before. With just over a half of a year left before I enter a new decade I realize that the time is now.

My chance is now.

The opportunities are now. And if there are none I must make them. (How? I'm not entirely sure.) As I was writing a proposal the other day this song came on. It stopped me in my tracks. I heard it in my youth, often. I knew the words by heart. I knew the melody by heart. But I didn't grasp it's meaning. I was far too young. As I sing the words now, I'm struck by their meaning, their relevance, their beauty, their power... I'm struck by just how true and meaningful they are. "Look around you now/ You must go for what you wanted/ Look at all my friends who did and got what they deserved."

It's time... It's time to go for what I want.

Wasted on the Way

Crosby, Stills & Nash

Look around me
I can see my life before me
Running rings around the way it used to be
I am older now
I have more than what I wanted
But I wish that I had started long before I did
And there's so much time to make up everywhere you turn
Time we have wasted on the way
So much water moving underneath the bridge
Let the water come and carry us away
Oh, when you were young
Did you question all the answers
Did you envy all the dancers who had all the nerve
Look around you now
You must go for what you wanted
Look at all my friends who did and got what they deserved
So much time to make up everywhere you turn
Time we have wasted on the way
So much water moving underneath the bridge
Let the water come and carry us away
So much love to make up everywhere you turn
Love we have wasted on the way
So much water moving underneath the bridge
Let the water come and carry us away
Let the water come and carry us away

 

The (Single) Motherlode

The (Single) Motherlode

Fringe Benefits :: Fashion Favorites

Fringe Benefits :: Fashion Favorites