|image via Lights Fantastic|
|image via The High Heeled Hostess|
|La Jolie Maisonette|
There'll be no pomp or circumstance this year... no presents ... no cake ... It's kind of strange to tell you the truth... I'm a Birthday girl and even though I'm all grown up I still like to celebrate and I see nothing wrong with that! But it'll be a quiet Birthday this year. And today, like every other day, will come and go. And tomorrow will be a new day... And truthfully, I'll be glad when this is over.
I haven't wanted to celebrate. I've had a couple of hard weeks. I've been quiet lately, haven't you noticed? It's a fairly big Birthday for me, and although you'll be totally shocked because I don't look a day over 25, I'm turning 45... That's officially middle age, isn't it? But today will be just like any other day. And truthfully that makes me a little bit sad. I'd have loved to have gone on a small shopping spree for myself... I'd have stopped off at JCrew, JmcLaughlin, and L'Occitaine among a few, but that may have to wait until next year too... My daughter needs bathing suits and shorts for camp... My septic tank needs pumping... My lawn needs mowing... (I'm renting a property with nearly an acre of land all on a slope and too hard to mow myself!) I was hoping to get myself a grill, some outdoor furniture... Maybe I can swing a hammock and some things for the kids to play with. This is life and this is my reality... and I'm realistic... and I'm fine with it. It's really not the things that I want. It's not the things at all.
I don't want pity... I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. This is all part of my new life - my new normal. Yes, I will admit it feels incredibly lonely... My kids came back to me last night and I have them today but no one had them make me anything... a small home made gift, a small card, maybe even some flowers picked from the yard... it would have been nice...
I'll go buy myself some flowers. Flowers make me happy. I can swing those!