There are certain toys, that over the years, have caused me more angst than joy. The thought of these mere toys sets my pulse racing, my heart pumping and causes me to break out into hives. I've hurled a few words at these certain little pieces that seem to find themselves not properly put away in tidy boxes or baskets but hiding where you'd never look for them, causing you to scream like a holymotherfckuer when you bare foot accidentally and unwillingly steps down upon it with full force. Simply put there are certain toys I hate.
I love Legos for their sheer creative brilliance but the soles of my feet hate them with unbridled passion.
I dislike everything about those super-sized automated Nerf guns. Everything. But more specifically I hate the tens of thousands of orange foam darts that take hours to pick up and put away and somehow magically reappear theverymoment you leave the room.
I hate the markers that are found without their tops. (Especially when they are mine!)
I hate Polly Pocket. I want to go over and personally slap the person silly who came up with those tiny dolls and tiny dresses, and ohmygodthoseeffingtinyshoes! Ten years later I am still finding random shoes and wigs and purses in my daughter's hot pink flokati rug. Just when you think you've found the last one... Perhaps the dumbest items by far that I have ever come across have also gotten lost and tangled up in that hot pink flokati.
I hate to think of the hundreds of dollars wasted on some stupid pieces of rubber shaped like flowers or cars or animals that my kids just had to have. I curse myself for the wasted dollars. I should have gotten them a rubber band ball instead. I should have told them to be leaders, not followers. I should have told them to start a new trend. Rubber bands come in fab colors as well. Rubber bands look great as bracelets. They're rockin'! I should have told them. But, if I had, someone wouldn't have come up with a most genius idea... and I wouldn't have carried it one step further...
I found this on Pinterest. I thought it was brilliant. I thought I could do better!
Because everything's better with bubbly, right?!
I definitely like the green turtle better! And as I was playing Alexander walked in. He wanted to know what I was doing. So I told him. And he offered a helping hand!
Cheers! And I know you'll all drink happier knowing that you won't need to worry about finding those silly little wine glass markers ever again!
XOXO
I love Legos for their sheer creative brilliance but the soles of my feet hate them with unbridled passion.
I dislike everything about those super-sized automated Nerf guns. Everything. But more specifically I hate the tens of thousands of orange foam darts that take hours to pick up and put away and somehow magically reappear theverymoment you leave the room.
I hate the markers that are found without their tops. (Especially when they are mine!)
I hate Polly Pocket. I want to go over and personally slap the person silly who came up with those tiny dolls and tiny dresses, and ohmygodthoseeffingtinyshoes! Ten years later I am still finding random shoes and wigs and purses in my daughter's hot pink flokati rug. Just when you think you've found the last one... Perhaps the dumbest items by far that I have ever come across have also gotten lost and tangled up in that hot pink flokati.
I hate to think of the hundreds of dollars wasted on some stupid pieces of rubber shaped like flowers or cars or animals that my kids just had to have. I curse myself for the wasted dollars. I should have gotten them a rubber band ball instead. I should have told them to be leaders, not followers. I should have told them to start a new trend. Rubber bands come in fab colors as well. Rubber bands look great as bracelets. They're rockin'! I should have told them. But, if I had, someone wouldn't have come up with a most genius idea... and I wouldn't have carried it one step further...
I found this on Pinterest. I thought it was brilliant. I thought I could do better!
Because everything's better with bubbly, right?!
I definitely like the green turtle better! And as I was playing Alexander walked in. He wanted to know what I was doing. So I told him. And he offered a helping hand!
Cheers! And I know you'll all drink happier knowing that you won't need to worry about finding those silly little wine glass markers ever again!
XOXO
Jessica