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How to be a Perfectly Lazy Mother!

I was joking around with my friend Liz on Facebook yesterday. She was bemoaning the fact that her 4 year old son had the audacity to ask her for a cheese stick the very moment she sat herself down. I mean really! So then I shared with her a little trick. Call it sheer genius, call it lazy, but after 11 years of parenting I will be damned if I am going to hop up off my derriere to fetch a cheese stick!

So here are a few tips for you to keep you off your feet and how to be a Perfectly Lazy Mother!

When your kids require a drink or a snack have a few treats that they can access, without destroying too much, by themselves. We have a Snack Drawer in the fridge. This is a drawer that the children can access for healthy snacks like cheese sticks, yogurts, juice boxes, water, etc. (Only downfall is that sometimes you need to monitor the amount of cheese sticks and juice boxes that your 4 year old will try to abscond with!) I keep other healthy snacks handy too. Sliced apples, whole apples, mini carrot sticks and cucumber slices. I keep grapes, pre-cut into small bunches in a bowl within their reach. Strawberries I consider dangerous due to their staining powers. The good (aka unhealthy) snacks are in, what we refer to as, The Carb Closet and those must be accessed by me. For younger children, say under 3, you may want to have a couple of sippy cups filled and chilling in the fridge. No reason why they can't get their own... and bring me that can of Coke along with the travel-sized bottle of Bacardi in the freezer... Seriously, folks, I am kidding... sort of...

I've learned a lot about laziness over the years. I am pretty certain that I get lazier as I get older. I am quite certain that this has less to do with age and more to do with the amount of children I have accrued over the years.


Entertainment. Under my desk I have two rattan baskets. One is filled with paper and pencils and crayons. The other an old table cloth and paints. That one is strictly off limits to anyone younger than 30. But if the children want to color, draw, etc they can take what they want from that basket. More "dangerous" art supplies are out of their reach. I also have an armoire in the family room that has some of their toys in it. Not too many, just the right amount. So whatever comes out can go back in. I am a stickler with picking up toys. Toys bother me. Funny since I am a mother with children. But I do not want toys running rampantly wild all over my house. A Perfectly Lazy Mother does not spend all day picking up after her children. She'll tell her children to pick up after themselves... from the couch with her Bon Bons. Of course, it goes without saying that my Japanese nanny Sony is fabulous at entertaining the kids while I enjoy an afternoon siesta!

Cleaning. After we moved, almost 2 years ago in May, we had to replace our family room furniture. The love seat remained in good condition but the sofa was trashed. We ended up getting a lovely chocolate brown leather sectional. Same reason I prefer leather in my car. It cleans up real good! A lightly damp cloth will immediately eradicate any finger smudges and accidental spillings (of wine or coffee since food is technically not allowed in that room). And accidental throw ups. With children you know this will happen. Wish I had known then what I know now... And by the age of 4 you can hand your offspring the lightly wetted paper towel and put him to work. You think I am kidding? Again, just ever so slightly! I have cleaning supplies and paper towels in each bathroom in addition to the kitchen. A Perfectly Lazy Mother does not want to have to run all over the place looking for what she needs.

My new favorite is Mrs. Meyers. All natural and it makes this Perfectly Lazy Mom almost enjoy cleaning! Seriously, this stuff is that good!

Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day Spring Clean Up Kit, Snap Pea Scent



How to be Perfectly Lazy in the kitchen. My kids are slobs. Are yours? No matter how often I vacuum the minute they sit down to eat, there are more crumbs on the floor than on their plates. This aggravates me to no end. I am thisclose to making the older two vacuum after every meal. I'm still training them to put the dishes in the sink. The dishwasher would be ideal, but no matter how many times I show them where it is, they seem to forget. Selective memory is an inherited trait I believe. Now don't get me started on the counters... I suppose I will have to wait a few years before I have the children cleaning my kitchen.

But I am training them to cook. Not the 4 year old as he is too young yet and he only recently learned what happens when one is mixing the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients and doesn't hold the mixer low enough in the bowl... But the older two are ripe for the picking and they adore it. And they have a talent, especially my 9 year old boy. He's been cooking dinner a lot lately. I am quite certain by this time next year I will not need to stand and supervise but will be able to sit at the kitchen table and enjoy a lovely Spanish Tempranillo. Pretty soon... pretty soon indeed. My Perfectly Lazy Mother in The Kitchen cookbook will be filled with my children's own recipes.


How to be Perfectly Lazy with the laundry. Is my 11 year old too young to be doing the all the laundry? Because if she doesn't stop tossing her clothes into the hamper because she is too damned lazy to fold and put them back in her drawer she is going to be! I do a lot of laundry. A lot. I spend way too much time doing laundry. I sort and fold a lot of laundry. I don't put away as much as I used to. The older two are now responsible for putting theirs away. Don't look at me like I'm this mean, hard as nails mother. I've done all the hard work, and all they have to do is put their already washed and folded clothes away in to their drawers or closet. This way I do not have to see what's in their closets or drawers. Because often I do not want to see what's in there and the state that their "clean" clothes are in. And the less I see and know about, the lazier I can be! My goal is that within two years I have the kids trained to wash, fold and put away, however! My goal, after all, is to be a Perfectly Lazy Mother!

A Perfectly Lazy Wardrobe. Yes, it is possible to look, chic, put together and stylish and be lazy. Isn't this the best news, ever? A few classic pieces make it possible to have a perfectly lazy wardrobe. All you need are a few nice cardigans or pull overs in classic colors such as navy, black, pink and white. A white button down shirt is a must, but a Perfectly Lazy Mother would not be bothered with the buttons. (If one must wear button down shirt for an event or such, the shirt should immediately go into the dry cleaning pile because Perfectly Lazy Mothers do not iron!) For every day wear a classic cotton white T is your perfect option. I'm partial to those from Banana Republic and The Gap. During the warmer months a few pretty skirts will do, a few shifts and a pair or two of nice shorts. During the cooler months some nice jeans, corduroys and dress pants.
 
Every perfectly lazy mother needs 5 pairs of shoes: a pair of ballerina flats, a pair of kitten heel pumps or mules, a cute pair of sneakers like Tretorns, a pair of dressy boots and a nice pair of sandals. Make that 6 pairs. Flip flops. Inexpensive flip flops are a must. A Perfectly lazy mother has a few nice jackets in her closet, a few nice pairs of earrings and of course a few fun necklaces, one of which is pearl, obviously.

Tretorn Women's Nylite Canvas Sneaker,White/Pink,8.5 M US

Take your white T shirt and pair it with a cute skirt. Wear cardi or tie it around your neck. Add ballet flats, sandals or flip flops. Pearl earrings. Done. You're dressed and cute. And in a perfectly lazy fashion. Take the same white T shirt and toss it with a pair of jeans. Add blazer and kitten heal shoes. Don't even switch the pearls. Lazy, lovely and done. Lazy hair? Do what I do. Ponytail. Functional and stylish. I always make sure I have a hairband to match my outfit. Sad but true. And, sorry LPC but no scrunchie please! This same T shirt can be paired with cardigan, Bermuda shorts and flip flops. Cute, preppy and perfectly lazy. Get the point? A Perfectly Lazy mother would not leave the house in sweats or yoga pants -- unless the weather is below 20 degrees. Some exceptions to the rule are necessary. And then said sweats can be hidden under long down coat and cute, warm boots.


My lazy face. I do not have a 12 step facial routine. I have one inexpensive face wash that I love. I moisturize with a little vitamin E oil and my favorite moisturizer. My face looks blah and dull when it is not sunny out. I get some help. Perfectly lazy help. Guerlain Terracotta Bronzing Powder is way better than sliced bread. Never understood that better than sliced bread saying. So many things are better... wine, chocolate...I have been using the terracotta bronzing powder since my friend Cathy introduced it to me in college. It is the Perfectly Lazy mother's must have accessory. And when I know for sure I am not going to cry I will wear a little mascara. I have been wearing Definicils since college as well. A squirt of gloss on the kisser and I am ready to go in a perfectly lazy way!

Guerlain Terracotta Tan Booster Active Bronzing Powder 01 LightLancome Juicy Tubes Ultra Shiny Lip Gloss PamplemousseLancome Definicils Mascara 01 Black NEW * Unboxed Full size


I hope this has helped you to become a Perfectly Lazy Mother.Do you have any tips you would like to share? Tomorrow, how to be Perfectly Lazy in the Bedroom ;)

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I'm firing Dr. Google!