Has anyone seen my Big Girl Panties? I really need my Big Girl Panties!

I'm tired. Exhausted. Wiped. Spent. I was looking forward to tomorrow. I have been looking forward to tomorrow since June. It was one of those unattainable dates. One of those moments I'd be waiting forever for. But tomorrow's not going to come. Not for me. Well, not the way I wanted it to.

Alexander was sick this weekend. He was sick yesterday on his Birthday. It was terrible and I felt so badly for him. A four year old should not be sick on his or her Birthday. It's not right and it's not fair. You're only four once, after all. There's nothing more hopeless than to watch your baby scream in agony because his headaches are so bad that not even the upper limit of Motrin can relieve. There is nothing worse than to feel your baby's body give off such heat from his entire body due to high fevers. There is nothing worse than a sick baby, except for a sick baby on his Birthday.

Late afternoon yesterday I called the pediatrician. I never call the pediatrician after hours. I have only done so twice before in all my 10+ years of parenting. The first time I called my call landed Rebecca in the hospital for 3 days. She had pneumonia when she was three. The second time was on Christmas morning and Alexander who was just over a year was inconsolable. I'd never heard a child cry quite like that. As the children should have been opening their gifts I was racing across the county to meet a pediatrician who was on-call. Alexander had a raging double ear infection that required 2 penicillin shots. Ok, so maybe a sick child on Christmas is just as bad as a sick child on his Birthday. But at that age he was really too young to really know better.

The raging fever and nagging headache gave us cause for concern. So we called. We were in contact with the on call nurse for several hours last night trying to determine whether we should bring Alexander in to the ER or keep him home. Eventually at 9:30 or so he told us his head was feeling better. So we decided he would see the doctor in the morning and I would sleep with him and monitor him closely throughout the night. At around 2:00 am I woke up and looked over at Alexander who was slumbering peacefully. I leaned over and kissed his forehead. The fever was back and with a vengeance. I got up poured the Motrin and woke him up to give it to him. He fell back asleep until 8:00 this morning when he bolted up in bed and proclaimed that he was all better!

I was so happy for him (and for me!) and we had a lovely morning playing with Birthday presents and painting and playing with Play Doh. I made the kids a light lunch and then we headed off to see Ponyo, a delightful movie about a little fish who wants to be a little girl and falls in love with a little boy. It's a lovely and charming tale with artwork so exquisite it almost pains the eye! The children loved it and laughed loudly. I shed a tear, or few! If you are looking for a truly wonderful movie for children of all ages, Ponyo is the one to see!

Christopher was awfully quiet today. He kept telling me that his side hurt. He looked pale but I chalked it up to back to school jitters. Then at dinnertime I heard the dreaded words "I have a headache." I took his temperature and sure enough he has what Alexander had. He'll be home for a good day or two. It'd be wishful thinking to say perhaps I will have all three in school by Friday. I just don't see it happening.

Of course I feel terribly that Christopher is not well. But truth be told I am sad and disappointed. I had big dreams for my first (half) day of freedom. I was going to get a few things accomplished. I was going to go to Starbucks. I was going to treat myself. Very nicely. I was going to get a Pumpkin Spice Latte. They're back you know and despite my on again off again affair, I cannot keep my hands away... I cannot keep my hands to myself. I was waiting for a special day. Back to school seemed the perfect celebration. But I will have to wait a bit longer. And truth be told I am sad and disappointed. It's been a long summer. Guess it's going to have to be a bit longer.

Thank you all for the kind Birthday wishes and comments!