While We Sleep...

I somehow managed to sneak in a 2 hour nap today. Well, I only slept for about an hour because the kids were so loud I that it took me a while to fall asleep. But I was tired. Bone tired. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in a week. I sleep terribly in Newport. I think it is because Alexander insists on sleeping with me. And for some reason, there, he sleeps sideways and I wake every 5 minutes or so to turn him around as he is kicking me in the head. It's blissful I tell ya! And my bed there is not as comfortable as it is here. And here I only sleep well if Daddy falls asleep on the couch while watching TV downstairs. And I am praying that happens tonight.

Last night was a late night that followed a long day. Christopher had a Birthday party at a friend's house. It was an outside party and I sat with the other mothers chit chatting and downing seltzer water. I have a hard time with the heat and humidity. Always have. I wasn't feeling so well when we left the party and changed to cool off when we got home before heading to the outlets for our shopping. I still didn't feel 100% but was happy that it was later in the afternoon and the sun was lower which made things more manageable. We didn't time things too well. The kids were hungry and needed and wanted dinner but we were on a mission to get everything done before the shops all closed. Daddy picked up a pack of Skittles for the boys to share, hoping the sugar would give them the boost of energy they needed. But Alexander no longer will go near the purple ones after last week's Pool Incident!

It wasn't until 9:15 when we finally got dinner. By the time we got home it was just past 10 and the 10 minute nap in the car ride home was enough to keep Alexander awake until 11:30. That was painful! A half an hour later Daddy came up and crawled in. Two hours later Alexander came in, saw Daddy and left. A short while later I heard him crying in his room. He wanted to come and be next to me. So I called him in and tucked him in next to me. A little later a chorus of snores from both boys. I left and crawled into Alexander's bed. At some point Alexander realized I was gone and started calling out to me. I told him where I was. He told me that he needed me. Ugh. Back into my bed we went. I couldn't fall asleep. I contemplated going downstairs. I contemplated turning on the laptop. I contemplated making some coffee. At around 4am I turned the TV on, volume low, and fell back asleep. At 5:30 Daddy's alarm went off. Loudly. At 5:45 it went off again. And again at 6:00 when he shut it off and plodded out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep. I couldn't. I surrendered to the hot coffee percolating downstairs. Made my coffee and crawled back into bed. At this point I decided it would be a do nothing day. I just didn't have any stamina in me.

I let the kids play on the computer and watch TV and play all day. I was so tired I couldn't move. I vaguely remember Alexander and Rebecca bringing Barbie's Dream House into my bedroom. I woke up two hours later to peace and quiet. My house was still standing. And there, on my floor was Barbie and Ken in bed together. So sweet.

She's on top of Ken? Do they sleep like that? How do my kids know this? Daddy and I do not sleep this way. I thought of placing Ken on the couch downstairs in front of the television, leaving Barbie to have the bed. This would be more like it! But I thought their little setup was endearing and then I looked down, closely....
There is a baby coming out of Barbie's vajayjay... in her sleep... while she is sleeping on top of Ken! There is a cradle strategically set up at the base of the bed. Hell-o, there is a baby coming out of Barbie's vajayjay!!! My 10 year old and my 4 year old were playing together and there is a baby coming out of Barbie's vajayjay! Now clearly my 10 year old knows how babies come in to the world. (Not completely how they are made.) But my 4 year old doesn't... or does he now? What else did I miss while I was sleeping?

And I look at the picture closely and I think wouldn't it be nice to just deliver a baby like that all sleeping and pain free?

When Rebecca was little she was fascinated by how babies were born. So we told her in a way appropriate for a preschooler. She was all about being a Mommy. We used to have these conversations over and over again. One such conversation took place in the old Volvo.
"Momma," she asked. "Does it hurt to have a baby?"
I looked over at Daddy and he at me, stifling a laugh shooting me a look that implied this was my territory not his. What could I tell her? I said no. I said that you have medicine and you don't feel anything. She was 4 years old for crying out loud. What the hell was I going to tell her? The truth?

The truth that I had an epidural for my first two births? That it never took for the first one and then too much medicine was administered during the second one causing my arms to go numb and my breathing to become labored? That after laboring for over 24 hours with my third child drug free, that I was eventually put on Pitocin and have felt pain like I had never experienced before but the anaesthesiologist was in back to back emergency C-sections and the Jamaican nurse was rooting for me to do this drug free and kept upping the pit while I suffered contractions so painful I really just wanted to die? That there is just no way to explain the incredible, unbearably excruciating searing burning pain of delivery that caused me to writhe in agony and scream so loudly, as my insides were literally ripping apart, that the entire L&D heard me? And quite possibly all of Greenwich, Connecticut heard me?

I think that sometimes it's best not to tell the whole story.

So here we are and Barbie has just silently given birth to her baby in my bedroom.

Maybe she didn't even know she was pregnant. I have heard that has happened...