My life (lately) in a nutshell...

I keep waiting for it to get easier. I think I have a long way to go still. Had Alexander not shown up on our doorstep two years ago I think we would have been home free. But add a third to the mix and the results are almost always messy. Poor kid. It often seems as though no one wants him. The older two, understandably, want to play without his interference, and I would be lying to you if I said I wanted him in my face 24/7. I keep pushing him off onto them and they keep bringing him back to me! He is a handful. He is actually several handfuls and in to everything and all the time. If I had a third eye it would be plastered on him. He's going to be the kid who gets injured if we let him out of our sight. And yet we do. We have to. I can not be on top of him 24-7.

The other night Don and I were downstairs while the three children were up playing ever so nicely. All of a sudden Alexander starts to scream then Rebecca starts to scream. "Mommy! Daddy! Come up here quick!" We have become accustomed to the screams and antics of the Dramatic, but this was different. My ailing back still slowing me down, Don was the first one up the stairs. I heard a few words which did not sound too good so I hobbled up the stairs to see that Alexander had gotten some of Rebecca's nail polish in his eye. (And on his face and in his ear and on his foot and on the white rug and on the white sheets...) Poor kid was screaming. Don took him and ran the faucet to flush out the eye. I was ever so grateful that he was home because with my bad back there was no way I would have gotten Alexander to the sink. There was no way I could have lifted him to even for a consoling hug. We were lucky and everything turned out OK. Rebecca felt horribly because she thought it was her fault. It was no one's fault actually. The nail polish, from some party favor of years past, was put away and forgotten about. This probably happened before Alexander arrived on our doorstep. I can not be at all places at all times. Accidents will most likely continue to happen despite our best efforts.

We have everything baby proofed in this house. But baby can get to it all. We'll just have to wait until he grows up a little and loses interest. Until then we'll not rest. I wish I was directly affected by Mattel's recalls. I wish my needs were that simple. I worry not about a few plastic toys. I worry about plugs and outlets and covers that my 2 year old can manipulate. I worry about the doors he can open and the locks he can unlock. I worry about the medicine tops that I can not take off but he can. I worry about faucets with scorching hot water he can turn off and on. I worry about everything any mother worries about and more. Yet I can not hover over him. I have to give him some space. I have to be there for the other two. And I need to take some breaks for myself from time to time. I could turn off the power and the water. I sure would save a lot of money that way. But then I would have to get up and run down to the basement every time a kid wanted a drink of water or to flush the toilet. Maybe I would lose some weight that way! Maybe if the power was off the kids would not whine about not being allowed to watch this or that. If the power was off I would have no freeze and therefore I would have no ice cream. Boy, I can already feel the pounds melting away. If I had no power I would have no ability to blog or talk to my So Called Imaginary Friends. No thanks. They are my sanity... and on certain days my raison d'etre!

If Alexander was my first I really do wonder if he would have been my last. I love him dearly, more than words can explain. He is such an affectionate child with the best of intentions. But he is cuious... and as long as he continues to be curious I will need to stay on my toes. But that's OK because I really do know how quickly this precious time does fly. Next year he'll be in preschool and two years from then he'll be in Kindergarten. I can already picture him getting on the school bus waving to me telling me that he is going to love school and there I will be on the corner a wailing, blubbering fool because my baby is off gorwing up and living and getting along just fine without me. It astounds me just how quickly time does pass... It seems like just yesterday I was watching Party of Five and feeling the earliest twinges of what would soon be labor, leading to the birth of my first baby. My first baby Rebecca is already almost halfway to college. But how can that be? She was born just yesterday? So forgive me if I continue to whine and pity myself... forgive me if I mope around some. Please know it is temporary because as much as I want a little Me Time, as much as I wish things could be a little bit easier now, I want to savor every single solitary second of what's left of my baby because he is my last and because in so many ways he's less of a baby and becoming a boy, so I want to complain now before I have to mourn this loss. But I have to end my ramblings now because my baby is waking and he is a smart one and he knows where the car keys are kept!