As a mother of three young children almost everything I do in my life I do for my children, whether directly or indirectly. I am many things. But first I am a mother. It is my responsibility to give them the stepping stones needed to create a successful and happy life for each of them. They need to know that they are loved. They need to know that they are smart. They need to know that they are supported and will be supported in all that they do and all that they want to do. They need to know that trying new things is important. They need to make mistakes. Mistakes are integral to learning and living and growing and surviving. They need to smile. Every day. A smile will carry you far. They need to see their glasses as always being half full. A positive attitude will be their best friend. They need to be kind. They need to be cautious. They need to be curious. They need to be polite. They need to be gracious. They need to be children while they are still young. They need to be good friends - to each other as well as to their peers. They need to be independent thinkers and yet they need to learn to play on a team. They need to learn that their friends won't necessarily think like they do. They need to learn that this doesn't make their friends wrong.

As their mother I am their role model. It is up to me to ensure that these goals are all met and followed daily. We talk about their friends and school. I want them to be model citizens. It all starts at home and in the classroom. I also want them to be successful and I want them to follow their passions. Finding and following their passions, to me, is the most important of all.

Life is tricky. There are many twists and turns, bumps and glitches along it's path. It's important, therefore, to have something to be passionate to fall back on or lean on or go to when life hits one of those rough patches. I have my writing and my photography (and my blog!) I have a good pair of running shoes and my iPhone with all my favorite songs. I have the most fabulous and supportive friends.

It is important that my children think of me as more than just a mother. I am more. I am much more. I want them to know and to see first hand how much I love life. I want them to see that I notice all the small details around me... that I have the ability to see just how beautiful life is, even when the storm is directly overhead. I want them to see how I interact with my friends. I want them to see me taking care of myself -- physically and emotionally. I want them to see me following my passions and working hard. I hope one day soon they see me as successful in their eyes. I want them to see me as multi-faceted. Because yes, I am and always will be their mother, but I am and always will be so much more.

I want my children to be proud of me.

I also want my children to see how my friends remember me - really enjoying life!

"She had a cocktail in her hand and confetti in her hair!"

image via Pinterest

Happy Sunday and may you all take some time out to enjoy today!

xoxo

Blogs are funny. As we let our readers glimpse into our daily lives we must toy with what should be open to the public and what should remain private and personal. In terms of me, I am pretty much an open book. There are very few things I consider private and those won't be mentioned here. The rest I am happy to talk about. In many ways we are a unique family and in many ways we are so much like so many of you out there, struggling to come to the best decisions regarding the well being of our children and families. We all have different parenting styles. What might work for one family might not with another. This is something we all learn over time. I have learned, over the years, never to say never. All those things I vowed never to do, I have done!

My friend Kim, last year, was having a terrible time juggling the needs and tenacity of a particularly precocious two year old all while tending to a very difficult and colicky newborn. She couldn't get her footing. And when she would finally get her footing she would slip and fall. We've all been there. Those days are long and difficult and no one has ever pretended to come through them unscathed. All while she was trapped at home in a foreign country trying to figure out life with two babies, hard enough when you are in your home land, but not so much so when you are in Turkey. I was here in the States and getting on with my life which must have seemed so spectacular and grand that she actually called me SuperMom. It was her belief that I was. But I am not and never was and have said this to her repeatedly.

We all have those days when we can't get out of the house, or when we need to just let the TV be the source of entertainment from time to time. We have days when we feel lousy, tired or overwhelmed by the daily household grind. Some kids fare better with the comforts and safety of home while others need constant stimulation and fare better being out, even if it means following you around doing errands all day. Some kids love a structured set of activities and others don't. It's all too easy to judge who is being over-programmed and under-stimulated, but unless your wearing Marybeth's Todd's then you shouldn't judge. Or feel too envious.

I'm busy. Very busy. Sometimes I like it and sometimes I don't. When my older two are in school Alexander and I have our errands and play dates and activities. We cook together, a lot. He loves it and it's a great creative outlet as well as a great educational experience -- learning to count and measure and follow step by step instructions. We also do a lot of coloring, painting and crafts. A lot! But truth be told I am a crafty kind of a gal and sitting on the floor playing Candyland and Chutes and Ladders all day long is my idea of medieval torture. So we do other things. And yes we watch TV and videos and play on the computer, Noggin, Nickjr. or PBS Kids. I also have to schlep the older two to all their activities and play dates. And then there is my involvement with the school as head of the Ways and Means Committee. It's a big, time-consuming commitment, that's for sure, but I enjoy it. It's fulfilling for me to do something that is challenging and yet benefits -- in the long run -- my children.

There are days when I am non-stop busy. And there are days, like yesterday, when I just can't get the energy to lift my head up off the couch. Days when I am so bone tired I can't snap out of it. But I don't write about those days. It's not that I want to hide the fact that on occasion my kids watch too much TV. It's not that I am embarrassed by that fact either. It's just that I don't want to come across as whiny or bitchy. It's part of motherhood and part of parenting. I am well aware of this. Also, it's boring. Who wants to hear about how tired I am when all of you are equally as tired! I will admit to taking a 45 minute nap on the couch yesterday. I couldn't help it. I was that tired. My eyes just shut. Alexander was over by the armoire playing with his cars and trucks. And then 45 minutes Alexander was still playing with his cars and trucks, but at that point Buzz Lightyear had joined in and wanted to go to infinity, and beyond! I couldn't believe that more of a mess was not made... I couldn't believe that the house was still... standing!!

There are days when my house is picture-perfect and days, like today, where my kitchen looks more like a storage room (why do toys always migrate here?) and the floor is desperate for a mop. Daddy was joking around the other day as we were coloring Easter Eggs in the mess of the kitchen. He pointed to the disgustingly dirty floor and informed me that he was going to take a picture and put it on my blog. I laughed. It would have been funny.

On Monday I went upstairs to Rebecca's room to put her laundry away. Normally this is something I expect her to do to help me out. But I was feeling nice that particular day. I saw that she had not picked up the few things I had asked her to pick up the night before, so I pulled them out from under her dresser and highboy and bed... and there were more than a few items so I tossed them onto the middle of her rug. Then I noticed a bunch of stuff jammed into her bed (how on earth she slept like that is beyond me!) and some gorgeous antique handmade doll clothes jammed into corners with socks and underwear... her drawers were even more of a disaster... everything crumpled and dirty clothes tossed in with the clean and new. I was angry. I was pissed off. I was furious. The few items that were initially on the floor had grown into a huge, enormous pile. I was not cleaning up after her. This was her mess and her responsibility. I closed the door and the Everest-sized mess and walked away. I almost took a picture of it. I almost blogged about it. I didn't and it wasn't because I was embarrassed (because you all know I do not embarrass easily) but because my blog is not meant to expose or embarrass my children. My description is pretty tame compared to how bad the mess was.

But by talking about this Messy Situation (without getting into the nitty and gritty) I have since learned that all (well most) 10 year old girls are slobs. Clothes and toys are strewn across their rooms like Christmas lights twinkling in the midnight sky. I was glad to hear that I did not have the only 10 year old slob. Very glad. And so we will continue to work on her tidiness skills and she will have to clean up her own messes. And, in the back of my mind I will keep reminding myself that children do make messes, some more than others, and this is all part of growing up and someday, God willing, she'll actually fold her clothes and hang them up without me breathing down her back.

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